my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dignity is for republicans.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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