Fine. I'll sleep in my office
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
