fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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