i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
