I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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