I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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