I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize