whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
