yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
do nipples grow back?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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