Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
