Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
