i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize