Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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