Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
