all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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