i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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