I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize