I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize