drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
