His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize