so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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