Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
