making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
