I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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