Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?

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(707): View more from California

She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.

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(618): View more from Illinois

No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.

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(813): View more from Florida

He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Your shit was massive.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.

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