Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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