ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
