I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
