Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
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I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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