I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
