Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
