That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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