Pants 0. Shit 1.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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