you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
