If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
