Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
