What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
No stitches, just platelets and will power
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
