Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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