yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
