It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Small penises have feelings too.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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