her vagine was all disorganized.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
