I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
