Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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