the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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