Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
