Buhtt sex?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm both gender and math confused
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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