I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
