made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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