Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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