If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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