he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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