Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Barsexuality is the new black.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize