dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
