I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
