suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
